Monty Python and the Kaiburr Crystal
Hello!
Helloo!
Hello?  Who eez it?
It is Jedi Master Saesee Tinn and this is my Jedi Knight companion, Plo Koon.  Whose fortress is this?
This is the fortress of my commander, Grand Moff Guy di Loimbard.
Go and tell your master that we have been charged by the Force with a sacred quest.  If he will give us food and shelter for the night he can join us in our quest for the Kaiburr Crystal
I'll ask him but I don't think he'll be very keen-uh.  Uh, he's already got one, you see?
What?
He says they've already got one
Are you sure he's already got one?
Oh yes, its a very nice-uh.
I told him we already got one.
(snigger) ah-ha-ha (snigger
Well, can we come up and have a look?
Of course not, you are Jedi typses-uh!
Well, what are you, then?
I'm Coruscanti!  Why do you think I have this oouutrageous accent, you silly Jedi-uh?
What are you doing on Mimban?
Mind your own business!
If you will not show us the Crystal, we will take your fortress by force.
You don't frighten us, Jedi pig-dogs!  Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person!  I blow my nose at you so-called Jedi Master!  You and all your silly Jedi Ka-niggg-its!
Ppppbbbbbbbttttthhhttthh!
Pbbttthhhh!  Pbbbttthhh!
What a strange person.
Now look here my good man-
I don't want to talk to you no more-uh...
you empty-headed animal food-trough wiper!  I farrrttt in your general direction.  Your mother was a bantha and your father smelled of elderberries!
Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
No, now go away or I shall taunt you for a second time-uh.
Fetch-e le vache.
Quoi?
Fetch-e le vache.
Fetch-e le vache.
le moooo
Fin