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| Monty Python and the Kaiburr Crystal |
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| Hello! Helloo! |
| Hello? Who eez it? |
| It is Jedi Master Saesee Tinn and this is my Jedi Knight companion, Plo Koon. Whose fortress is this? |
| This is the fortress of my commander, Grand Moff Guy di Loimbard. |
| Go and tell your master that we have been charged by the Force with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night he can join us in our quest for the Kaiburr Crystal |
| I'll ask him but I don't think he'll be very keen-uh. Uh, he's already got one, you see? |
| What? |
| He says they've already got one |
| Are you sure he's already got one? |
| Oh yes, its a very nice-uh. |
| I told him we already got one. |
| (snigger) ah-ha-ha (snigger |
| Well, can we come up and have a look? |
| Of course not, you are Jedi typses-uh! |
| Well, what are you, then? |
| I'm Coruscanti! Why do you think I have this oouutrageous accent, you silly Jedi-uh? |
| What are you doing on Mimban? |
| Mind your own business! |
| If you will not show us the Crystal, we will take your fortress by force. |
| You don't frighten us, Jedi pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person! I blow my nose at you so-called Jedi Master! You and all your silly Jedi Ka-niggg-its! |
| Ppppbbbbbbbttttthhhttthh! |
| Pbbttthhhh! Pbbbttthhh! |
| What a strange person. |
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| Now look here my good man- |
| I don't want to talk to you no more-uh... |
| you empty-headed animal food-trough wiper! I farrrttt in your general direction. Your mother was a bantha and your father smelled of elderberries! |
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| Is there someone else up there we could talk to? |
| No, now go away or I shall taunt you for a second time-uh. |
| Fetch-e le vache. |
| Quoi? |
| Fetch-e le vache. |
| Fetch-e le vache. |
| le moooo |
| Fin |